I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
