Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
