Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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