I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
