I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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