We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
