Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she looked like the before picture.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
