Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
