i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
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