Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
