Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
