he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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