its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
