bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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