I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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