Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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