He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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