sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
