He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
