My entire life is one complicated drinking game
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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