I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
