he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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