If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
