is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
