yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
