wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
