I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We just shotgunned beers for America
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
