i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
