I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
