he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
