You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
