Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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