I love having hate sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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