Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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