i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
