I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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