I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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