I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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