glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
