Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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