you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Say something about gay babies.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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