There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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