I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
