I looked at my own cervix.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Holy sore nipples Batman
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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