what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He kissed a someone with a penis
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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