dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
