the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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