You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
smell my finger.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Houston, we have a blender
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
