The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
