So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
