i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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