Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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