There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Boobs are out for the taking
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
