Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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