Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
