girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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