Joe is yelling at the trees again.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
