Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
