WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
its liver damage thursday
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
