I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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