I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
