She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
